Journey of self discovery as a writer

All my life I believed I was not good enough.

I was not good in extracurriculars nor did I get great marks. I spent my life envying the people who seemed to have both for them. they were good in sports, dance, and art and got grades at the same time. I felt lost. I felt unworthy of anything.

I desperately wanted to be a good dancer, an artist and a sportsperson. I wanted to get grades. I just couldn't.

Then lockdown happened. I was only 12. I spent my time in my room attending online schools, tuition and then studying. After my studies, I would watch hours of YouTube and get into long daydreams.

I had a habit of zoning out and daydreaming. I could daydream for hours if I would like. I used to read and watch films and think about what could happen next, add new characters and daydream about different scenarios.

I would sometimes get inspired and create my own characters and daydream about them for months at a time. I would have several stories I created and would often switch between them depending on my mood.

when I was younger I would create elaborate stories to do with barbies, and animals and play with them for hours on end. In fact, creating stories with my toy animals or barbies was my favourite pastime.

I also was a voracious reader. I used to read books again and again till the pages came ripping out. I would read 2-3 books of one series within a day. whenever online classes got boring I began reading my favourite novel.

After reflecting on it, I realised. I am a writer. I need to go back to writing. This took me down memory lane to when I was eight years old.

I started writing when I was 8 but had eventually given it up. Eight-year-old me felt that her writing was not good enough. that she would never become a writer.

I decided to be brave and started with short stories. after writing a few short stories I decided to write a book.

in January 2021, when I was in an online class I began planning my first novel which was supposed to be part of a 9 book series.

I worked on it for three months but gave up. I felt devastated. I cried at night.

I thought my writing journey was over. I failed again.

it took me 4 more months to decide to give writing another go and I attempted my next novel ' the unexpected incident'. I didn't tell my family for a few weeks.

My sister however found out and told my parents. my sister was really supportive of my writing.

I finally decided to open up to my friends about my writing journey. they were delighted.

After some time, I decided to tell my relatives too.

When I joined my current school and I was helped a lot by my teacher to get the novel done. I felt like giving up many times and I still do now. But I have learned to push through it.

I can't count the number of times I messed up. But that's ok.

Today I am happy to announce I finally feel confident to call myself a writer. I currently run a blog which aims to create social awareness. I also write short stories and am working on my current book.

I hope to publish my book by next year.

I am just a novice writer right now. But with confidence and practice, I hope to make it as a professional writer one day.

This journey taught me a lot of lessons but the most important of all was to just dive right in without a plan and do things. and I will carry this lesson for the rest of my life.